I’m starting to think I shouldn’t go on this blog anymore. I’m a lot less depressed and anxious than I used to be and I’m seeing life in a more positive light. I’m focusing on improving myself overall and making myself likeable, rather than just acceptable, for example, by making more of an effort to look nice and enhance whatever good features I have, rather than only try to cover up my bad features. I’m also getting into the habit of eating 3 meals a day and I’m losing weight and I’m enjoying it because I feel like I’m in control and I’m normal. It also means I don’t have to argue with myself about whether to eat or not because it’s already decided that I’m going to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, even if it’s just a small meal.
But when I go on this blog, I start reconsidering everything I’m doing. I start thinking about my weight a lot and I feel guilty about eating anything, and then I end up eating too much because I’m thinking about food all the time. It’s not the pictures of skinny girls that does this to me, it’s just the whole mindset of thinspo and weight loss. I’m not going to delete my blog or stop going on it yet but I’m thinking about it.